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YOU MIGHT BE A SOFTBALL
PARENT, IF
1. Your diet consists mainly of chili cheese nachos, sunflower seeds, and soda. 2. You’re pretty sure you live in a house, you just can’t remember what it looks like or where it is. 3. You see absolutely nothing wrong with bribing your daughter with money, as long as she’s having fun. 4. You participate frequently in the “pace back and forth while mumbling incessantly” ritual. 5. The coaches have no idea what they are doing or how to run a team…..you could do better. 6. Your daughter has not only improved her softball skills, she’s also become particularly good at rolling her eyes at you. 7. The phrase “We’re taking a family vacation” translates to “This weekend’s softball tournament is really far away, so pack your suitcase” 8. Somehow, your SUV has been turned into a softball equipment storage facility. 9. Your wallet is empty and your skin is burnt, but all you wanna know is “what’s the score?” 10. Family gatherings and holidays are scheduled around softball practice and games. 11. Your kid is the best player on the team and should play every position on the field at the same time. 12. You have peculiar round bruises all over your body. 13. All of your white clothes are now a dingy shade of brown. 14. You refuse to go anywhere without your foldout chair, portable grill, ice chest, and a roll of toilet paper (just in case). 15. Blue used to be your favorite color – now your favorite phrase to yell out is: “You Stink Blue”. Humor - I know there is a lot of Softball Humour out there, Send it to me and I will Post 
Confessions of a Softball Parent
·I used to have a regular life. (Actually, many of my friends say that sentence should say, "I used to have a life", period.) It doesn't really seem that long ago. Then I became a competitive softball parent. ·I used to think anything over $40 was an exorbitant price for a softball bat. Now the contents of my daughter’s equipment bag are worth more than everything else in the house -- including clothes, jewelry, watches, and my laptop computer. ·I used to be one of the leaders in my field of work. I still am. (You have to keep a good paycheck coming in if you want to support a competitive softball habit!) ·I used to think a double-header was a long day at the ball field. Now after two games we're just getting warmed up. ·I used to look for fancy restaurants that served seafood and prime-rib. Now I'm a connoisseur of nachos and hot dogs and my kids rate a city by the quality of a tournaments snack bar! ·Sunflower seeds used to be something I would see at a store and wonder who would eat those things? Now I don't feel comfortable leaving the house with out a bag in my pocket. ·My lawn used to be like a carpet. It was green, mowed, trimmed, fertilized, and watered. Now I have two big bare spots fifty feet apart and dents in my garage door from fastballs that got away! ·My car used to draw admiring looks and comments. It was clean and waxed and shined and Armor-All'd. Now it only draws attention when it wins the "dirtiest car in the parking lot" prize, or it is covered in "go team" shoe-polish. ·I used to have a garage, now I have an indoor batting area. ·My friends and I used to spend Monday mornings talking about a round of golf or movie we had just seen. Now I bore them to death with detailed play-by-play descriptions of five or six low-scoring ball games. ·We used to sit and talk for hours. We still do-- however, now it's to keep the driver awake when we're headed home late Sunday evening after a tournament. ·My summer casual wardrobe used to be made up of color-coordinated polo shirts, cool cottons in bright colors, and the occasional "aloha" shirt. Now I have a closet full of T-shirts that have Tournament Names on the front and competing teams on the back. ·We used to spend our summer vacation relaxing on the beach or visiting family. Now we hit the road with 20 of our closest friends in a caravan that could rival some small town parades. ·I used to be concerned that I would fall into the trap of living my life through my kid. Now I know that I'm privileged to live my life WITH my kid, and I wouldn't have it any other way!!! Yes, I'm a Competitive Softball Parent, what could be better!
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